Cool Dad/Transcript
In a space of pure whiteness, the giant blocky title and a certain rose emblem drop from the sky to the ground, where the four miniaturized members of Team RWBY pop out from behind it to smile, wave and adopt poses for the audience while an unseen speaker announces the show as: "RWBY CHIBI"! ---- Yang Xiao Long, Ruby Rose, and Qrow Branwen are sitting around a table. Qrow throws a pair of dice onto the table while drinking. Qrow: (slurping) And that, girls, is what we call rollin' snake eyes. Ruby: Oh, yeah, look at that. They look like little eyes. Oh, cute. Taiyang Xiao Long and Zwei enter the room. Taiyang: Hey guys, what's goin' on? Up top! He holds his hand up for a high-five, but is left hanging as Qrow groans instead. Ruby: Uncle Qrow is teaching us important life lessons. Taiyang: (concerned) What kind of life lessons is he teaching you? Yang: You know, like love is for suckers and rules are for fools. Taiyang: Wait, what? Yang: And never get caught cheating because it's only cheating if you get caught. Taiyang: (gasping) Qrow, what are you telling my girls? Qrow: It's a harsh world out there, Tai. I'm just teaching them what they need to know. Qrow, Ruby, and Yang all share a thumbs-up. Taiyang: Uh, I've already taught them everything they need to know. About justice, honor, and maintaining excellent oral hygiene. Great job, girls. Ruby: It's okay, Dad, you can teach us all the boring stuff and Uncle Qrow can teach us all the cool stuff. Their dad goes white-eyed for a beat before protesting. Taiyang: But, I'm cool too. I'm a cool dad, right? Ruby and Yang laugh and Qrow smirks, amused with his nieces. Yang: Good one, dad. Wait, were you serious? Taiyang: But I have a tattoo. And sweet cargo shorts. Qrow: Yeah, that's adorable. Come on girls, let's go set off some illegal fireworks. Qrow leaves, Ruby and Yang bouncing behind him. As they disappear offscreen, Zwei barks once and also follows them. Taiyang's jaw drops, offended at even the dog prefering Qrow. Taiyang: I can do anything Qrow can do. Bluh bluh bluh, I break all the rules. Ooh, look at my messy hair that I spend an hour every day styling. Hey bartender, give me another drink. It's been two minutes since my last one. Taiyang takes a sip of Qrow's drink and spits it out. Taiyang: It burns. ---- Neptune Vasilias is laying on his bed at night, snoring. The door opens slowly, creaking. Creepy music plays as a dark shape enters, zooming by the chair with a rubber ducky, towel and scrub brush on it. A Geist slowly rises up from beside the bed and attempts to scare Neptune, but he doesn't wake up. Sun Wukong walks into the room and wakes up Neptune, causing the Geist to hide by possessing the brush. Sun: Yo dude, back from the gym. I am sweaty; gonna hop in the shower. Sun assembles on the goods from the chair, holding the brush with his tail. Neptune: Sounds good. Why'd you have to wake me up for that? I don't care. As Sun walks out of the room, the scrub brush trembles, afraid. ---- Ruby, Yang, and Qrow are walking down the sidewalk. Qrow: And that's why you never tell a cute waitress your real name. Ruby and Yang begin to laugh, and a white-eyed Taiyang with a backward cap on his head rides up on a skateboard being pulled by Zwei. Yang: (surprised) Dad? Since when do you skateboard? He blinks and affects a nonchalant attitude. Taiyang: Psh, I've been skateboarding for years. Guess you haven't noticed since I'm just so chill about it. A cat meows and Zwei starts barking before charging off. Taiyang: Zwei, you can stop now. Zwei! Stop! Whoa! A car horn honks, followed by tires squealing and a crash noise. A tire bounces down the street and Qrow takes a drink from his flask. ---- Yang and Ruby are standing next to a swimming pool while Qrow is standing on the diving board. Qrow walks to the end of the board, jumps, and does a swan dive, flapping his hands quickly while he's in the air. Taiyang: Hey girls, check this out! Taiyang runs up onto the board and slips, causing him to bounce into the air. He manages to flap his hands before falling flat onto the pool's water, which only slowly lets him in. Taiyang: So...much...hurting. ---- Qrow dances and without stopping walks up to a table where Velvet Scarlatina, Yang and Ruby stand. Smoothly, Qrow catches the drink Ruby slides over to him and he dances away. Velvet: (pointing) Hey... Who's that weird guy staring at us? Taiyang is on the table's other side, doing some basic, unimpressive dance moves. Taiyang: Yeah, I used to have some pretty sick moves when I was younger. You want me to teach you my sick moves? Ruby is wincing and Yang, who had faceplanted onto the table in embarrassment, lifts a hand toward Taiyang to decline. Yang: No, that's okay, Dad. Taiyang tries to grab his ankle but stumbles and falls over. His daughters rush to him. Ruby: Dad! Are you okay? He sits up, only his pride hurt. Ruby: Why are you acting so weird lately? Taiyang: I know how much you girls look up to your uncle Qrow because he's so cool. I just want you to think that I'm cool, too. Ruby: Well, dads aren't supposed to be cool. They're supposed to be dads. And you're the best dad in the whole world. Taiyang: You really mean that? Yang: Yeah, that's way better than being cool. Now please, stop trying to get yourself killed. Taiyang: Well, I guess I did alright if I raised girls like you. Velvet is smiling at the sweet family moment. So is Qrow on her other side. Qrow: Well, my work here is done. Velvet: But you didn't really do anything? Qrow: Didn't I, rabbit girl? Didn't I? He starts to stride away. Velvet: (unimpressed) My name's Velvet. Qrow: Heh. I don't care. Category:Transcripts